The question is, what can we do about it? How can we forgive these people and move on with our lives and be unaffected by them? I'm still a work in progress and I'm still trying to figure this out. Whenever I need inspiration or an answer lately, I've been less likely to look to friends for advice and more likely to look to the Bible. Let's face it, our friends love us and they are going to tell us we are perfect and it's always the other persons fault. If you want the absolute TRUTH though, you have got to get it from the WORD OF GOD. Period. So here is what God says about forgiveness:
Colossians
3:13
Bear with
each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
To me, that is very powerful. Think of all the
things you have done in your life, you know, the things you wouldn't ever want
anyone to find out about. The things that make you embarrassed to even think
about. We've all been there. We've all made mistakes. When we hold on to the
things others have done to us, we are giving them the power. The power to
control our feelings and emotions. You think you're really getting them good by
holding on to this resentment but you're really making yourself a prisoner. In
the end, it's not really worth it. I have a hard time making the first move
towards forgiveness but it is absolutely essential. I'm humbled every day as I
have found myself praying for the people who have hurt me instead of praying
that they would "get what they deserved"....It's not easy and I don't
automatically get fuzzy feelings about these people when I encounter them, but
it is important for my spiritual and mental health.
Here are some suggestions that may help you if
you're struggling with this. First, seek God's WORD. Look up Bible verses that
talk about forgiveness. You will be humbled. Trust me. I know this sounds kinda
crazy but pray for them. Pray that they will be touched by God in a way that
they are changed for the better. This is difficult to do and may seem
impossible to you but it will help, promise. Another thing (and something I'm
working on this week) is write a letter to someone who has really hurt you.
Explain in detail what they did and why it hurt you. You'll probably get angry
again, reliving the memories, and you may even find yourself crying. When
you're done, tear it up, burn it, GET RID OF IT. I know it sounds weird but it
actually does help. I've done it before and I'm going to keep doing it. The
people in my life that are no longer in it were toxic for me so I see no need
for reconciliation. I do want to move on with my life though and get rid of the
bitterness I've clung to.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that you allow yourself to
be someone's door mat again. If anything, this will be the closure that you
need FOR YOURSELF. It will also be a learning experience about being selective
of the people that you want in your life. Remember, hurt people, hurt people. A
lot of times it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own
unhappiness. Be willing to admit your faults though and be humble enough to ask
for forgiveness.
I'd love to hear your comments on how you have
forgiven people who have hurt you. As I said, I'm a work in progress and I can
always use some help along the way :)
xo
-C
I've never even thought about writing a letter to the people that hurt you and rip it up! Brilliant. Gonna do it. Maybe tonight. Haha. Love you!
ReplyDeleteIt really works.
DeleteCourtney's Mamma. <3
Forgive: FOR God so loved. GIVE: He gave His only SON and continues to give forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteWe reach right into the heart of God when we forgive as He forgives us.
My heart is full and tears close to the top when I read your blogs. You are loved sweetpea, by God and by us.
Mamma
I am so very proud of you, beautiful :-) Our God is amazing, is He not? Look at where you have been and where you are now. To God be the glory, great things He has done in YOU! You are a walking testimony of His power to change and heal. I am enjoying your blog and can't wait to read more. I am going to include a link to yours on mine, if that is ok with you. Love you, sweet girl! xo
ReplyDeleteMel-Mel ;-)